Just because you are divorced does not mean you are rid of your ex. Dr. Jamie Williamson, Family Mediator and President of Amity Mediation Workshop, recently wrote an article for the Huffington Post discussing how even when marriages dissolve, co-parenting never ends. Parents choose the path they go down with their former spouse during divorce and that path can have a lasting impact on their children.

She explains that divorcing spouses are “no longer hostages to their old emotions or patterns of interaction and that they could build an entirely new relationship based on their mutual love for their child and their interest in building a stable future for him and for themselves. To do so, they had to agree to be both physically and emotionally divorced so they could focus on the future, not the past.” In most cases, this sounds way easier then it actually is. When couples are wrapped up in the emotional stress of divorce it is hard to take a step back for a moment and try to get along, even it is for the best interest of your child.

Dr. Williamson lists seven questions to ask yourself and talk through with your parenting partner to decide how to build your post-divorce relationship in the best way possible. For example:

“1. Given the age of your children, how often will the two of you need to communicate in order to coordinate shared parenting now, and as your children grow older? How willing are you to let hostile communication with each other impact your children’s development and detract from your ability to build a stable and happy future for yourself?”

It is important to remember that, even though you and your ex may be divorced, you will continue to be involved in each others’ lives. How you treat each other during the divorce can set the tone for years to come.

Read more: (HuffPost)

If you have more questions, I can be reached by phone at 214-526-5234 or by email at [email protected]. VernerBrumley’s principal office is located in Dallas, Texas.